Cordless Helmet
How To Irritate Your Wife
Would you like to know how to irritate and annoy your wife? This information can come in handy, some day. It works in an opposite manner. By knowing what does not work, you can avoid future mistakes. Here are a few examples of avoiding marital bliss.
Pick a nice warm sunny day. Perhaps she is sitting outside on the patio. She may be using the cordless or cell phone. Now is the right moment to use your Poulan chainsaw. This will blast her back into the house. You will interrupt her serenity and phone call. This technique will annoy her. It also shows complete disregard for her feelings. You can get two annoyances for the price of one.
Is she watching television? Maybe she is taking a break from housework. She may be watching a movie on her favorite woman’s cable channel. Come into the room for a few minutes. Attempt to watch the movie. This may not be an easy task. At least sit there for a few minutes.
You can play the movie bashing game. All you have to do is find things that you do not like about her movie. This will not take long. Complain and ridicule as much as you can. You may point out that the movie is senseless, for example. See how many things you can come up with.
This is a good way to insult her indirectly. You do not come out and ridicule her. However, when you ridicule things that she likes, you poke fun at her. You also make fun of her intelligence level. This can be very insulting to anyone. Is it no wonder that this works so well?
Would you like to insult her and show no regard for her possessions? You can easily accomplish that. Is it time to paint something? There is a good chance of that. Something always needs painting. Here is a good way to get that paint mixer that you need. Walk into the kitchen and use her hand mixer. Do not ask, just do it.
This will give you some time to work, alone. You need time that you are undisturbed. It will be nice and quiet while she looks at new hand mixers, at the mall. This task annoyed your wife and you got a new paint mixer, at the same time.
After all of this work, you may need some rest. A simple apology will not do, for all of your insensitive behavior. You need a good excuse. An insanity plea is as good as it gets. Get a black helmet. Line this helmet with aluminum foil. Cover the entire helmet if you wish. She will ask you what you are doing. Tell her it is to stop the aliens. You no longer want them to intercept your brain waves. This may buy you some time. It may get you about 48 hours of rest in a nice quiet room.
Final thoughts
Of course if you really want peace. Never attempt any of these procedures at home. The mistakes of other, may light the way to marital harmony.
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